now it is official....i am stupid!

today i had my intermediate examination.....
and it sucked horny donkey balls :(
i could cry...

and my boss...who told me that everything will be alright- if i get a bad grade - got all bitchy as i told her that she should expect the worse!

A-W-E-S-O-M-E

and of course she wasnt the only one picking on me today....
also my grandpa had to remind me that i should concentrate on my apprenticeship and not on other things!!!

H-E-L-L-O??

shit..i wish a car would have hit me on my way to that ass-fucking exam!

THANK GOD (actually tess) - i have the best girlfriend in the world, who supports me with all her love!!!

♥

i wanna run away....

....tomorrow is intermediate examination day...

and i am NOT

• prepared.....
• motivated....

nor

• interested...

run away, run away from the pain yeah, yeah yeah yeah

purple and pink

on wednesday....in 2 days.... i will have my intermediate examination...

this exam includes everything i've learned within 2 years......
and HEY i just started studying!
well..this weekend i had better things to do....
for example:

• talking to my gf
• talking to my gf
• talking to my gf

i just wrote some sheets...and i painted the most important words in purple and pink...

god.....im sooooooooo girly :P

MUST HAVE

pink - ♥ - mirror - peppermints - sugar free........... PERFECT :)
http://www.littlei.com

hångla - jättegott sockerfritt tuggummi

the perfect chewinggum to make out :)
http://www.bluebox.se/

sverige im coming!!

yes .. i just booked my flight to sweden :)
april 2nd - 14th...

im so excited.....

the only thing that is bugging my mind right now - - - i didnt tell my parents yet!!!

min svenska flickvän

friday feb. 16th - i had to get up at 3.30 am to give my dad a ride...since i needed the car all day....i almost killed a few frogs, a mouse, two rabbits, a cat and a man...what the hell are those creatures doing on the street in the early morning????? especially when I AM driving????

i got home around 4.45 am and slept or well rested until 5.30 am... took a shower...got ready....jumped in the car...turned on the current cd of p!nk (im not dead) ....and sang along while driving to work...

i was nervous all day....
i ran around...telling my co-workers that i have to leave in only 8....7....6...5...4...3...2...1 hour/s

as i finally left at 2.30 pm, i had to admit that i was already too late...cause it takes around 1 and a half hour to go to that airport....and as the traffic got worse and worse...i got even more nervous about the time...
as i got out of the traffic i drove 150/180 km/h...i made it in only one hour :)

it was hard to find a parking place....so i drove circles over and over again until i decided to park in the second row.......which is NOT allowed...

i jumped out of the car....ran up and down.....and up and down....over and over again.....watched the car every five seconds.....and after 15 mins i ran into the building, cause arriving people got out of the airport...
i was waiting and waiting and waiting..and it felt like ages....
i got really nervous, cause of the car and since i was super excited about my swede coming over...so i kinda died...
after a billion other people came out with their luggage - t. finally made her way out of the arriving room.....

a loud "heyyyy" and a warm hug followed.....a warm and very shaky one lol...
we still dont know, who started shaking! it was a really nice moment....

we ran to the car ...throw her luggage in the back of my car.....i offered her a brownie and started the engines :P
i was talking all the time....listening to "no doubt" and "p!nk"...and of course i was speeding like shit :)
i loooove going fast!!!
after 45 mins we got home...and already met my mom before she walked in our street...

soon i kinda recognized that we had no time to go to a restaurant...so we hit the car again and went to the supermarket and bought tons over tons of vegetarian food :P hehehee....

since we also had NO time to cook...i made a garlic baguette...

we didnt hurry at all...and dad wanted me to pick him up at 7...
tho my band-re-hearsal started at 7 - i picked him up...and speeded off to the band-re-hearsal...
we made it in half an hour :)

we were with the band until 10....
went home and yeah...she lay down in her bed...and i lay down in mine :)
we started talking....i took her hand.....and we couldnt let go....
stroking and holding each others hand....
decision..
decision..
decision..
soon i asked her to come over...and she did :)
decision...
decision...
decision..
and after hugging tightly and a nose kiss - it followed a really really nice frenchkiss...

i was afraid i wouldnt feel it....but i did...and..and...and she is the number one of those i kissed...
we hugged and kissed e/o all night....fell asleep holding e/o ...woke up the same time in the middle of the night continued..and yes...the rest of this story is history :)


saturday feb. 17th - the alarm-clock was set at 9.15.........we got up at 12 i guess....hahahaa....after we got up we had a yummie breakfast ...croissants...rolls...chocolate-milk..a yoghurt.... :)
after we took a shower and fixed make-up etc.... we took the train to d. - i told c. that we were sorry for being late...and met her and her friend y. at "el paso" :)
we had a lot of fun....and had a yummie lunch/dinner....
i got quite shocked as t.(waitress) passed my way....

later we ran around in d. and after a few hours we took the train back home....
as we sat on the train i thought of when and where i should kiss her on the way back home...cause we had to walk..hmm..
as we walked home i wanted to kiss her so many time..but whenever i wanted some car stopped next to us..or someone watched us by standing at the window etc etc etc...
as we were walking at the mainstreet...the street was empty..and as i looked up at the sky one of the street-lights turned off..i went like "whatta bad sign" and she said "no..not at all...this is perfect" and kissed me....i lost myself and realized that it was destiny and that it was the perfect moment to kiss her!!!!!

at home we hurried and got ready for a night out partying at "stone" :)
at 10.30 anna picked us up.... and we went partying!!!

i cant believe that we saw c. the singer of d.t.h. at stone...cause ive lived in d. for 19 and a half years and have never seen him...and now....after ive moved away to k. i see him :P
it was weird...
also i met a. an old classmate from r.school and a. an old classmate from p.school. :)
the only thing that sucked was...that a . (r.school) had a fist-fight with some other guy...it totally ruined my night....
a. (p.school) and me danced and i have to admit that he is quite cute :)
t. didnt dance with me thaaaat much...cause "swedes have to get drunk before they start drinking"
well...i danced my butt off...lol
at 2.30 we left and went home....


sunday feb. 18th - we were supposed to get up around 10/11...and woke up by my mom knocking on my door - telling us to wake up..cause she cooked some vegi-lasanga for us :)
grandpa was so cute as he tried my swedish cookies :P hahahaa...
we had some coffee and cookies....t. got ready..and we head off to d. again...to meet a. for a yummie burger at "space burger"..
since we were so early i invited t. for a coffee at starbucks and showed her a tiny part of d.

later we had a yummie dinner at "space burger" ..went home afterwards...
and watched "fucking amal" at home ...or well..we watched it a tiny bit :P


monday feb. 19th - carneval is a huge thing in d. - so we went to d. to watch the parade...
it was quite funny....especially as i took a photo of some swedish-flag-granny and t. :)
later we tried to find an open coffee place, cause we were cold, but all places were closed....

we went home and had some brocoli-soup and a comfy evening at home :)


tuesday feb. 20th - i had to get up at 3.30 again...cause i had to give my dad a ride...
i came home at 4.30...and we got up around 10ish....got ready.....ordered food at some italian restaurant....and had lunch...
before we left...t. gave me a smurf holding flowers in its hands :)
then we made our way to the airport.....late as always...and with 180 km/h :)
we made it in 35/40 mins :)

i hate saying "goodbye" ...but this time it was different..... especially as she told me something special...while hugging her :)

on my way back home my cd played "when a man loves a woman" ....this song conjured some tears in my eyes...but i did NOT cry....im strong! :P

sick & tired

music: black eyed peas - let's get it started

ooooooh...i got a bad flu...
but still....im sitting at work and i badly try to survive......

i would have stayed at home today... BUT today's the last course....
soon i gotta hit the course...

m. got me ONE liter of licor 43... :P

now to smurf....

we had an amazing time.....i miss her tremendously!!!!
i will write more when i feel better... :)

band re-hearsal - no.II

ive gotten the keys for our re-hearsal room :)
yay --- but hmm.. 50 bugs a month is quite a lot for some poor apprentice like me!!

i really love our songs...but since im the singer ...its really hard for me - if i dont have lyrics nor a singing-melody to ANY song!!
my guys are already recording the songs for me...so i can start writing lyrics :)

since it was valentine's day - i bought yummie candy hearts and brownies for my band-members...heheheee....


well..after the re-hearsal - s. gave me a ride to the mainstation...and i got home around 11...

m. wrote me an email this morning and i asked if i survived the ride...lol
they are so damn nice.... :)
i feel like a princess!!! hahahahaa

ouch??

im so stupid.....how could i be soooooo insane??

yesterday i went to a solarium.....
and obviously - or well most likely..
i've lain there for toooooooo long!!!

ouch??

happy valentine's day

to everyone, who loves me...
and to those, who dont!!!

♥

what i had......

♥

mmmm...psychotically good...

the perfect
valentine's gift
for a
mint-addicted-shrink (smurf)

im sooooo proud!!!

best sentence ever!!!

FITTA - vad gör det så in i helvetes jävla kuk ont!!!

i've repeated that sentence so many times yesterday...
that it is still on my mind...hahahahaaa....

but as always - v. didnt like my swedish....
t. did - and that is what counts!!!!! YES!!!

right, t.??

my swedish rocks..hehehee....

STARBUCKS

yes yes yes yes yes...

finally...

my-starbucks-addicted-self will meet a. at starbucks today....

i just love love love starbucks!!!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

sverige v.2

hahahaaaa....

sverige

sverige rocks!!!
v for v**ina ..hahahaaaa....

winter wonderland

mood: nervous & irritated
music: james morrison - you give me something

guess what?!?!?!

it's snoooooooowing :) yay yay....
sooooo magical...
sooooo white...
sooooo wonderful...


8 days to go .... jävla skit, im sooooo scared.. :(
im getting all shy and quiet here.... :/

caffein-girl

mood: strange & sick & flurry
music: backstreet boys - incomplete



i love my new department....
loads of new and interesting work and lovely co-workers...

every morning m. invites me on a coffee and i get some yummie cookies and cakes...

but im stressing myself again....
everything is coming back again....
im nervous....confused....im feeling sick...im acting strange..im thoughtful...getting pessimistic...

hm...i dont even wanna eat....


ewwww...now i gotta get back to my studies.....

numb.

no sleep, no sex for you from your ex-girlfriend
i was too deep, i can't let you go and just jump in
at times i would push my feelings aside to let you feel
i'm novicane i'm numb and nothing's real

like the coldest winter, i am frozen from you

i was weak before now you made me so numb
i can't feel much for you anymore
i gave you my all, my baby
i'm numb, numb, numb

but the tears were silent inside you see
but the tears were silent inside you see

i laid there quiet, watched you have your way with me
i might have cried, the tears were silent inside you see
you called me names, made me feel like i was dumb

i didn't feel a thing and now i'm gone, gone, gone

like a battered child i got used to your pain
but you know its cuz i was weak before now you made me so numb
i can't feel much for you anymore
i gave you my all, my baby
i'm numb, numb, numb

i was weak before now you made me so numb
i can't feel much for you anymore
i gave you my all, my baby
i'm numb, numb, numb

don't feel a thing, don't feel the pain
numb, numb, numb
said

i was weak before now you made me so numb
i can't feel much for you anymore
i gave you my all, my baby
i'm numb, numb, numb

i was weak for
said now i'm numb, numb, numb
no, no, no, no

hardcore shopping

lately ive been checking jewellery and clothes...
and came to the decision that my list is definitely too long!!!

jewellery:
* efva attling
* thomas sabo
* white trash charms

clothes:
* david & goliath
* liquor brand
* united colors of benetton
* king cat

r-r-r-a-t-t-t-t-t-e-t-t-t-t-t-t-t

mood: nervous & tired
music: Kooks - She Moves In Her Own Way

after such a badass-weekend - im back in business....
working like a honky..or well...right now i have nothing to do :P

***

i think i gotta get ready for my fifth coffee :)
hell, yes - im such a coffee-ohlic :P
and i miiiiight meet anna-banana for a coffee at starbucks today....
we will see........cause she doesnt know how long she will be at the fashion-fair....

***

i cant believe what smurf is creating for me!!
i kinda fell off the bed as i read her text this morning :P
this is such a cute and lovely idea :) since i aaaalways wanted to have it...
and self-made is always better :)
im sooooo damn curious!!!!

***

on friday i will meet s. right after work..
cause he wants to teach me some bass :) yaaaaaay....
and after the band re-hearsal i wanna meet anna-banana, anna-wau and beate for some nice cocktails and fancy dinner :)

***

help! only 10 days left until smurf gets over here...
im sooooooooo damn nervous.....hmhmmmm....
hellicopters in my belly *r-r-r-a-t-t-t-t-t-e-t-t-t-t-t-t-t r-r-r-a-t-t-t-t-t-e-t-t-t-t-t-t-t